Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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