he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want a musical about memes.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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