You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
