R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
