I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
