I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
