Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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