I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
