oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you will always have a special place in my vag
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize