My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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