I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
