You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Farmville is her only friend.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
