I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
