Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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