i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
