The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
