he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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