i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Your penis caused this!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
