I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
