"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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