I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
