He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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