I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
