no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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