do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
