Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
