I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
