can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
did you just send me my own nude
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
