At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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