A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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