Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
