You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
