He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize