those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Randomize
