Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
