There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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