i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
