So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
