So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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