Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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