he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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