Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
