don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
tell me about the eggs
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize