do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
