So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
