My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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