Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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