So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
