I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
