ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
