if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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