Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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