He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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