Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
