As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
