i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
be right there i have to get my cape
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
