He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The air taste purple.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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