I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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