I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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