oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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